After a life time of drama, baggage, and mental blocks, I am finally accepting that this is my fate…
i AM loved.
i AM free.
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The Tiny Blue Dot April 16, 2010
This week you get a video and commentary from someone pretty important…my dad!
Dad loves things like space, Legos, airplanes, math…and his two girls. Hear that? 2. Girls. Neither of which do much math, play with Legos anymore, or fly planes.
Whenever I find something relating to any of the above topics, I’ll distract him from work with a quick “love ya” email and the link. This week I sent him the video below.
I liked the video, and quickly lost track of what Mr. Sagen was saying…I was instead focusing on the movie clips and if I could ‘name the movie’ before it flipped to the next one. Yep…I got sidetracked by the pretty pictures.
Dad on the other hand? He embraced it with all of the genius that swam by me in the gene pool. I felt like a tiny blue dot after hearing his spiritual view on things, and instead of repenting promptly asked him if he ever wished his two girls weren’t so shallow.
Instead, he responded with only the kind of love that a dad could have for his two brilliant, beautiful, and witty daughters. (I think Megan should do a post next, she is boat loads of entertainment)
And amazingly enough, this post actually proves my point. I can’t figure out how to imbed the video…so here’s the link instead: The World Would Be Better If Everyone Watched this Video and the following from my brilliant father:
I like the comment by one of the bloggers that says “I think of mankind not as something insignificant on any scale, but in the embryonic stage of something terribly significant.”
There is an equation in math, the inverse proportion, where y = 1/x. As x gets bigger, y gets smaller. As x gets smaller, y gets bigger. As x approaches near zero, y approaches infinity!
(SIDE NOTE: I have read this paragraph I don’t even know how many times, and I STILL can’t translate it)
I have used this in numerous Bible studies, that if we are the “x”, where the “1” represents the true One, then the “y” of life becomes enormous as we, the “x”, submit and humble ourselves. John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30). Job, considered a perfect and upright man (Job 1:1,8), still humbled himself and repented before God. In so doing, became nothing (insignificant) in his own eyes, yet was everything God expected of him. Paul said, “…when I am weak, then am I strong.” (1Co 12:10)
When we truly humble and submit ourselves to God, recognizing the folly, arrogance, self-centeredness, and indeed the insignificance of our human selves, it is then, I believe, that we begin to comprehend the true significance of what God intended for us as humans. In fact, I believe it is only in that context that we can have any true perspective.
Carl misses one very significant, indeed crucial, fact! In math, upon which astronomy heavily relies and Sagan would be intimately familiar with, there is a fundamental rule: any number divided by zero is undefined. You cannot divide something by nothing! If x = 0, then y = 1/0 ?? How do you distribute something, or anything, among nothing? The mathematical law of inverse proportion exists only as long as there is something there to divide by. So, no matter how insignificant the earth may be, it still exists! And how it came to be is NOT insignificant! And every explanation other than divine creation fails miserably.
So, while it is critical that man should not “think of himself more highly than he ought” (Romans 12:3), we must realize that as an “x” we are never a zero! We keep a proper perspective of ourselves in relationship to God, and in that we properly think of ourselves as insignificant. However, as I, an “x”, become nothing in my own eyes under the will of my Savior, the “1” and only way to life, I begin to see “y” God is the infinite being He truly is! But, once created we are never zeroes! Never in God’s eyes!
While at the moment I am dealing with massive loads of burnout in every aspect of life I find it difficult to get excited by much right now. And yes, I am re-doing my 8 day bitterness buster too.
However, the wonder and excitement I hear in my dad’s words above is the same that I see and hear when we are together, relating to everything from a joke to the profound amount of grace God has granted our family. And that is why I respect his sweet, scholarly words of encouragement. Thanks Dad
Week of April 5-9 April 8, 2010
I’m going out of town tomorrow (YAYAY) so the post is a day early:
I’ve been chided for being bitter, hence the reason I looooove this picture:
I am extremely “unsweet” and totally OK with that. It’s not a constant state of being, rather, it’s a slightly snarky side that I possess.
However.
A friend sent me a challenge that we are undertaking together, in which we live out Phil. 4:8.
To be straight up honest, I have sucked it up already! The concept is “simple”, you live out Philippians 4:8; thinking purely and positively, avoiding gossip, avoiding complaining and negative thoughts. This morning while reading the challenge for the day I wanted to punch the smiley face in the email, making that the 2nd failure on the 1st day of this enterprise.
While I can be fun and funny and full of orneriness, I have a side that is very realistic, steeped in concern and worry. Being a “linear thinker” I can tend to take a problem and let it consume me. I will (grudgingly) admit – I see the benefits in this 8 day challenge, and a part of me is panicking because I could possibly lose control of the parts that I think are intrinsically “me”. But then I think back to the person I was 2 years ago, and look at how much I’ve changed…and I know it’s possible.
In 8 days I could very well become a hippie-peace-and-love-flower-wearing child who insists on hugging every person I see, all the while wishing them hearts and granola, flashing them the Peace sign when we part ways.
Or, I’ll stubbornly hold onto my pessimistic “realism” and continue punching the monitor, getting madder for every day that I read the challenges and scriptures and principles and happy-talk.
Or, I’ll fall somewhere in between those two extremes. Maybe I’ll become nicer and calmer, happier and more at peace, still wanting to Christian-side-hug people but also living in the reality that every day presents.
I joked that this experience is like a colonic – it will flush my system of the waste that is taking up space, slowly poisoning me from the inside out. Who knows? It might turn into something that I pursue yearly, in an effort to purge the negativity that the year has presented me with. Maybe during those rough spells it will become something that I pursue monthly, in an effort to balance. Maybe it will become a way of life, and these principles that I’ve skipped over since childhood will stick and change me for the better.
Maybe this desire to be better, not bitter, makes up for failing twice this morning on the very FIRST day.
Guess we will wait and see!
Week of Mar. 29-Apr. 2 April 1, 2010
I’m currently listening to an audio book about Charles Schultz. Thanks to Snoopy there was a book/cartoon/movie released with the title “Happiness is a Warm Puppy”.
I’d have to agree.
Sam brings me a great deal of happiness, and as much as I like animals, I REALLY like this one, which is ironic considering I’ve always been a cat lady.
I’ve been chided (A LOT) for the sheer size of Sam. I never realized how large he was until I saw other Golden Retrievers. He is a little pony like…
I have a friend who consistently says that first time dog owners should have to follow a rule, saying that they can only get a dog that weighs up to 40 pounds. Sam here? He ways at least double, and almost as much as I do. He is shorter than me (barely) when he stands on his hind legs. We usually see eye to eye. He is taller than me when we sit side by side…
(Aren’t we adorable?)
(And, if you look closely you can see where his lip got cut when he got hit head on by a pick up truck – and then promptly stood up, brushed himself off, and came galloping back!)
I would have to say that Schultz was right. Happiness for me has been found in a giant puppy. I never would’ve guessed, because before the divorce I never cared one bit for dogs. I mean I’d liked them and often said I wanted one, but also in the same way I want a Camry – I never thought it’d happen.
And here I am. A dog owner. And not only that, a dog lover. I love this crazy pooch more than I can accurately put into words.
For all those who say I should have a dog that is my size, I’d just like to say that I don’t think life works like that. You don’t pick love based on a list of requirements, specifications, or “how it looks”. Are we an odd mix? Definitely. Are we happy? Look at him – he smiles!! Are we in love? Definitely.
Plus, just know this, it could always be worse. The last two pictures are NOT Sam, and were sent to me in a forward and through an im, and I have them for ‘proof’ that size doesn’t matter.
