Luciana

Without a doubt my favorite topic of conversation is myself, and one would assume that it would be no problem to whip up a pithy little “About Me” page.  But for whatever reason, after many aborted attempts, I have yet to produce said page.  Anyway as Kristina insists that I need to do a real “getting to know you”, I’ve decided to just put down anything that pops in my head.  Most of it is true.

The basics:  I am 32, mother of three, and wife of many years.  This  set of facts never ceases to amaze and frighten me.  The defining event of my adult life was the year (2005-2006) my husband spent in Iraq.  Bluntly put, it knocked me on my ass, turned my worldview upside down, and hopefully made me a little better of a person than I was before.  He spent the subsequent 2 years stationed at Fort Lee, VA which turned into a permanent job.  Last year the kids and I left Roanoke for the greater Richmond area to join him.  This has put us in the odd position of being almost newlyweds again after 3 years of separation.  It also led to Kristina replacing me in my old job and renting our Roanoke house.  Though there have been many upsides to the past year, the downside was leaving behind an incredible support system of amazing individuals that I had truly taken for granted.  And God, do I miss the mountains.

So that’s my current life story, and it’s probably about as serious as I’ll ever be.  To round things, here are the not-so basics:

• I am weirdly adverse to the outdoors unless I’m by a body of water consuming margaritas.  In my defense, mosquitoes adore me so I’m immediately attacked anytime I head outside.
• I have a terrible pottymouth esp. when you consider that I am a reasonably wellbred church-going Southern girl.  I try to blame it on my husband’s time in the Army, but  that excuse doesn’t really fly.  Basically, I am just fond of Anglo-Saxon words-in a Chaucer-esque fashion.
• Scarily, there are few people who know me as well as my former boss, Pat.  This has led to an odd relationship in which I call him when I need someone to tell me I’m being utterly ridiculous and that I need to calm down.  Last year, while cataloging my strengths and weaknesses, after genuinely touching words of praise, he felt it necessary to balance things by saying  “well, math is not your strong point” and also to note my lack of general motor skills.  For some reason, this never fails to make me laugh.
• I hate talking on the phone.  Hate it with the passion of a thousand suns.
• I also hate to cry and try to plan for it 3-4 times per year so that I can get it out of my system.  As a result, I have a list of movies, TV shows (weirdly enough, Scrubs), songs, and book passages that are my go-to cry triggers.  Yes, I’m perfectly aware of how unhealthy and repressed this is.  Coupled with my fear of physical contact and hugging, and well, I just prefer to think that it’s very British and “stiff upper lip”of me.
• I am obsessed with Christian home-schooling families-the kind that wear dresses (and pantaloons) everyday, bake their own bread,and live every day like characters in Little House.  I can entertain myself for hours reading their blogs.  If I didn’t desire to truly do something useful with my life, I think I could happily  devote it to the study of this little subculture…kind’ve like Margaret Mead and the Samoans.
• Since I am masquerading as a stay at home mom these days, most of my wardrobe decisions revolve around one question: “Can I wear my Toms shoes with this?”  If the answer is no, the outfit is usually discarded, and since my Toms are navy blue polka dots, my choices are limited.  However, I am considering the silver glitter ones in order to greatly expand my clothing options.
• I love sparkly anything.  Oddly enough, other than an visceral “oh, shiny” reaction, jewelry holds no allure for me at all.  I know, weird.

Excellent.  I have painted an incomplete, not at all schizophrenic portrait of myself.  I promise that occasionally I do talk sense.  It just doesn’t happen very often these days.