I received one of the best verbal spankings I’ve had in a while on Monday, courtesy of Sarah.
In talking to her we were discussing my favorite topic: Me and my amazing level of narcissism.
One of my all time favorite things to sheepishly say when I admit to being obnoxious is “LOVE ME”, which I threw out in the conversation.
Without missing a beat she replied “You do”.
It stung, but well done Sarah. Well done.
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming of churchy musings, life as we know it, random references to Kings of Leon (Ha! Like right now. Did you see what I just did? That just happened!), and movies I’m dying to see to bring you this extra special bit of fabulousness from Sunday night’s Tony Awards. Yep, I know it’s all over the internet, but after watching it at least 28 times yesterday, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this never stops being funny. So I’m putting it here so I can watch it anytime I want.
You know, Bret’s right. It don’t get better than this. Alright, please continue.
One incredibly productive use of my abundant free time has been spent watching a few episodes of 30 Rock each day on Netflix streaming and then harassing Tina (co-author of this blog KrisTINA not Tina Fey) while she tries to work by emailing her constantly with my favorites lines. Since I am too lazy to think of an actual post these days and since my entire personality is basically a collection of pop culture quirks I’ve co-opted over the years anyway, I might as well play to my strengths. Here are some of the funniest lines from 30 Rock…a completely subjective list of course.
Tracy Jordan: What is this, Horseville? ‘Cause I’m surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay! (Kristina’s personal fave)
Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I’m ugly?
Jack to Liz: What did your mother mean when she said you were a beautiful genius? Was she taunting you?
Kenneth: I’m a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
Dot com: What is the world’s only egg-laying mammal?
Tracy: The Easter Bunny!
Jenna: You know, I’ve always reminded myself of Grace Kelly.
Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It’s after six. What am I, a farmer?
Jack: I get my hair cut every two days. After all, your hair is your headsuit.
Republican Congressman: I can’t support that. Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if instead of a dam we called it a God finger.
Jack: Are these people your family? Why are they all smiling? Who’s being ostracized?
Kenneth: Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.
I have family that live in Louisville KY and every year my internal homing device starts sending out signals that it’s time for a visit. We used to go every year at Thanksgiving, and while the alarm is sounding quite loudly come November, it also sends out slightly weaker signals around May.
My grandfather was not saved for a majority of his life, and every year had a knack for picking the Kentucky Derby winner. In watching them parade around the track, he’d name the top runners for the first, second and third spots. Every freakin year he was dead on. As a kid I used to beg mom to take us to the track so we could make some money. At that point in my pentecostal life I hadn’t figured out why betting was wrong.
I’m not a fan of horses. I rode one at Reboot and it was slightly less than enjoyable. I know nothing about horses or racing, but none the less one of my dreams in life has been to attend the Preakness, Kentucky Derby and Belmont Stakes, in hopes of seeing a horse win the Triple Crown. (Other secret desires that are related: to have a mint julep, wear a big hat and sing My Old Kentucky Home while being in Kentucky).
My grandfather has since passed on, and with the Derby being held every Mother’s Day weekend (and it being her father who excelled at gambling) I tend to get a little nostalgic around this time of year.
Enough of the sensitive stuff. I am a Mental Floss junkie. This morning they had an article relating to the Derby, and more specifically for naming horses. No one trusts my naming abilities (since I want to name a boy Fletch) and I’ve always been intrigued with the names that fly around the track and make millions.
While reading about the restrictions in naming the horses (only 18 characters, including spaces and punctuation!) I read the following, and have laughed and laughed. Then laughed some more:
And so, I raise my Mint Julep (ahem…McD’s tea, I’m at work) to Mental Floss for the laugh, Kentucky for the beauty and the sport, Mother’s Day for the nostalgia, and my grandfather – who I wish I’d known better as a youngster…because it’s now that I’m beginning to see how cool he was.
Anyone (and everyone) who knows me knows that one of my stubborn obnoxious wish-it-would-die-in-a-fire endearing traits is the fact that I am slightly obssesive compulsive. It’s not so bad that I can’t function in day to day life, I just like things to be organized. Your stuff can be a mess, but if it’s mine, I tend to like it to look/be a certain way.
One of the things I like to have organized are my books. If my books are part of a series, it drives me crazy if they don’t match. And here’s the kicker – if by chance they don’t match, then I need them to all not match.
For example. I’m collecting C. S. Lewis books right now. While at B&N (my second home) with Sarah I found a copy of ‘That Hideous Strength’, which is the 3rd in his space trilogy. The cover looks a little something like this:
I then found the first, with the cover that looks like this:
Great. Non-matching is the way we were apparently going. However the problem I’d run into was finding the second book in the series that always matched either the first or third, which is a No-No in Tina’s Library Land. After much searching on various sites, I have settled on this one from PaperbackSwap:
And here’s the thing. I’m not sure if I’m slightly scared by this cover, slightly annoyed that they disgraced a C. S. Lewis work, or if I’m too tickled by it to care. Sarah and I were amazed at how built (and slightly angry) Adam is, while Eve is working the miracle without the Miracle Bra. And all I have to say is if the economy crashes and we all go back to fig leaves, I want a giant crane-like-bird blocking my necessary parts during picture time.
This is just funny. God, I hope Ethan doesn’t want a Twilight cake for his birthday. (Cake Wrecks)
Luc
I can have oodles of charm when I want to. Kurt Vonnegut
